It’s moooorning and I still need to sanitize everything oh god whyyyyyyyy dog poo worms asdfghjhgfdsdfghjkhgfdsdfghjkjgfdsadghjkl

I need a second to remind myself of how I’m not supposed to be in situations like these anymore. Bad Spontaaa.

1. Finally got around to trimming my own hair again. Layers layers layers galore! <3 Rounded/mop head cuts really suit my face better.

2. My brother just got us a DVD of Supernatural: The Animation. Whaddup.

3. I’m bringing my laptop to the shop today to get my files transferred to the one my tita lent me.

4. Almost one month cleaaaaan whooooo

A few months back, I started the bad habit of smoking whenever things got too stressful. Smoked my first whole cigarette last December, then had another one around February, and then during March it just started getting too frequent. I got to talk about it with my brother (who’s been smoking since high school), my friend (who’s also a stress smoker), and my boyfriend (who doesn’t smoke), and after a period of discernment I decided to give it up. 

The first two weeks I tried to stay clean, I ended up sneaking a few into the house while my dad was asleep. And then Ryan and I argued about it, and then I promised not to have another one again.

I’m no longer at the stage where I still need them as crutches, but I think I’d rather be there than where I am now. If I were still there, I’d have a ton of strategies to help keep me away from those bad boys. At present, I’m at the stage where I feel like smoking would be a good reward for all the effort I’ve put into quitting. And not getting my reward is making me feel aSDFGHJKL;LJHGF

If I stick to just smelling the cartons, that wouldn’t be considered cheating, right?

Forced out of hiding,

Pushed off a cliff,

Hastily wiped away.

Had I not known your pain as well?